This week I learned about how there are consequences to my wrongdoings. Aside from the shame, I’m told these things cannot go unpunished. Since last week’s crime was only my first offense, and I ‘am’ still a juvenile, we all agreed that if I pled Guilty and apologized to Auntie, that 5 hours of Community Service (whatever that means) would be a fair sentence for my being ‘Depraved and Indifferent’ (whatever that means). I figured it was best to go along with the court’s recommendations.
“Smart Boy. And what better time of the year to have an extra set of paws to help with the Spring Clean-up? So, all week young David has been digging in, literally, helping with our many chores around both Free Dog locations. He’s actually done a really good job and has been a lot of help, although he sometimes gets distracted.”-Editor .
Man, Community Service is a lot of hard work. I was totally beat at the end of the week, but am glad I’ve paid my debt to society and can get back to focusing on my real job, spending time with all of our Members.
“Well, if only that were true. It seems some new, disturbing evidence has come to light, and some additional allegations may be levelled against him.”-Editor
New What? I didn’t do anything else, I swear!
“The evidence doesn’t lie, David, and it comes from a credible witness. That’s right, Auntie found ‘another’ pair of desecrated panties, and if your DNA is discovered on them, you’re going to be in Big trouble.”-Editor/Mom
I didn’t do it again. It was only that one time. Maybe I’m being framed. Maybe Jazzy did it.
“What? I’m no pervert. Don’t be dragging me into your little web of lies. And besides, I’ve got better things to do than spend my time setting you up.”-Jazzy
“Yeah, I don’t know, unless this was all part of an original crime spree, this isn’t looking good for you David. Do you realize the penalties are much worse for repeat offenders? You’ll have to register as Sex Offender, which means you won’t be allowed near any schools. There are schools everywhere. We’ll all be ostracized from our community. We’re supposed to be role models for good dog behavior.”-Editor/Mom
I’m telling you didn’t do it again. I learned my lesson.
“Lucky for you, it seems the underwear has mysteriously disappeared en route to the evidence room. Since there are no witnesses to another actual crime, and you haven’t been sick again, it looks like you might be off the hook. You will, however, be placed under surveillance for the foreseeable future, and if you’re found within 10 feet of a dirty laundry basket, you’ll be in violation of the protection order Auntie has place against you.” -Editor/Mom
I didn’t, I wouldn’t, I won’t.
“Good,because the next step will be home confinement, wearing an ankle bracelet and enrollment in UEA.”-Editor/Mom
Uh oh, I don’t want to go back in my crate. And what’s UEA?
“Underwear Eaters Anonymous. Maybe they can help you.”-Editor/Mom